Mmmm, MMOM...

[calime]

..or, May, the Merry Month of Masturbation. As usual, I'm blaming sparklebutch (he always gets blamed for everything good that happens, you see).sparklebutch had a very credible theory that general sickness and ill-feeling may be due to the fact that gods are angered by insufficient sacrifices of masturbation porn. With that encouragement, I tried to be a good little girl and wrote something vaguely porny and definitely masturbatory. I'm very grateful to cinder1013 for beta. Everything that's wrong is my fault. Also, weirdly enough, the characters are original, for what they're worth *grins*.


The sheets felt smooth and soft when he made himself a place on the bed, stretching and then settling into a comfortable half – curled position on his side. Hmmmm, this was nice. Warm, soft bed. Nowhere to be, no hurry. Perfect.

Of course, it could get even better. Lazily, he curled further in on himself and nuzzled his groin, followed by a long, lingering swipe of his tongue from the base of his cock to the tender perineum. Once, twice he licked, relishing the warm, moist, slightly soothing movements of the tongue. He spent some time giving attention to his balls, nuzzling, licking, breathing on the soft down and feeling it tickle his nose.

By this time, his cock was definitely getting interested. It filled and lengthened just enough to let a pinkish tip show from within the retracting foreskin. Experimentally, he ran the tongue gently over the tip. Mmmmm, that was definitely a good idea. Perhaps he ought to repeat it, just to be sure...ahhh. Hummm. Yes.

The next lick was rather on the slurping side, but that was fine. That was bloody perfect, in fact. He concentrated on his task, a quiet humming purr starting somewhere in the back of his throat. So ... fucking ... good ... almost ... oh ... almost there...

CRASH! The world fell on him and splintered into a million pieces.

He was still hyperventilating (though still, somehow, hard) when he stuck his head out from under the blanket. A quick glance around gave explanation for his forced reconnection with reality. On the floor two tulips lay mournfully amidst the wreckage of a vase and a pool of water.

He looked up towards the table. There sat the red tomcat, apparently unfazed by the catastrophe it had just caused.

Bloody bastard. The dream had been ... nice, though admittedly weird. It had definitely been arousing. He flipped back the blanket to peer at his erection, then squinted up towards the cat who had nonchalantly bent into a comfortable contortionist pose and was enthusiastically licking at its balls, one hind leg sticking up in the air.

He looked at the cat, then down on himself. Nah. He was sure he didn’t have a proper kind of backbone for that. Besides, he’d tried once, when he was a teenager. Bloody cat. Mere mortals like him had to settle for just a hand.

Comments

[cyberducks.livejournal.com]

Ha! Foiled by the cat! Maybe the cat was trying to save him - because as you know, "If you play with it, it's going to fall off..." - wisdom of parents everywhere.

Ehem, and supposedly there are people out there limber enough to....(and there is at least one story where Methos is that acrobatic).

Sexy and funny.

[calime]

Heh, I think the cat was just being superciliously contrary, like they are sometimes...also, a show-off. And, well, inspirational. Perhaps he wanted to imply that working to get the real thing would be superior to dreaming about it:)
I'm glad you liked:)
As to the falling off... I think sparklebutch is making icons on the theme of 'every time you do it, God pets his kitten' :)

[calime]

Look, like this *points up*. Pretty kitty icons! Also, I have faith in a god like that.

[marys-scribbles.livejournal.com]

Hey! I just stopped by to tell you I left you an email ...

And realized I'd somehow missed this ... anyway, great stuff! I was just about convinced we were inside the head of a tomcat when the CRASH! came. Very hot and very lovely.

[calime]

Oh, thank you! Nice to hear it was, you know, understandable:)