Desolation of Dragons

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2026/03/people-are-gossiping-about-how-close-2-supervisors-i-manage-are.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=37022

A reader writes:

I manage two departments, each led by a supervisor — one a married man and the other a single woman. While I work in a separate building, I’ve received numerous reports from my boss, peers, and direct reports regarding their behavior.

They are inseparable: taking all breaks together, sharing a single desk, whispering closely, and staying late whenever the other does. The optics have become a significant distraction. Seven different people — including those outside our organization — have commented on the inappropriateness of their closeness, with some making “get a room” jokes.

While their deliverables aren’t egregiously late, I often experience delays in email responses or project updates. During these gaps, team members frequently message me to report the duo is “goofing off” or whispering in the break room instead of working.

Since I haven’t personally witnessed the behavior and their performance hasn’t hit a “failing” grade yet, I am unsure how to proceed. Should I address the optics and the professional reputation of the departments? Should I wait for a specific performance failure? Or should I ignore it since the evidence is technically hearsay?

You’re not a court of law; you get to be concerned by hearsay!

There are lots of situations that can come up as a manager where you’ll hear something alarming that you haven’t observed firsthand, and in most of those cases the answer can’t be to do nothing since you didn’t witness it yourself.

Depending on the circumstances, sometimes you can arrange things so you’ll have more opportunity to observe the problem yourself. But other times you won’t be able to (or it will be concerning enough that you need to act more quickly than that would allow). In those cases, the right next step is to talk to the people involved and ask about what’s getting reported to you.

In this case, I’d recommend a combination of those two approaches. First, can you find a way to observe some of this yourself? You normally work in another building, but can you find reasons to be at the other location more often? When you get messages that these two are goofing off while you’re waiting on overdue work from them, can you just go over there and see it firsthand? That will arm you with some ability to cite what you’ve seen yourself.

But if you couldn’t do that — if you worked across the country from them, for example — you could still address this. The way to do that is to talk to them individually and say something like, “If I’d only heard this from one or two people, I wouldn’t bring it up, but I’ve heard it from numerous people at various levels now, so it’s something we need to address. I’m hearing from multiple people that you and Sidney are spending so much time together than it’s become a distraction in the office — including things like sharing a single desk, whispering, and hanging out in the break room together while work is getting delayed. I know I personally have been waiting on responses from you, only to hear that the two of you are socializing in a different part of the building. It’s of course fine to be close to a colleague, but I’m hearing that the optics have become enough of a distraction that unless you’re mystified about what this could be referring to, I need you both to have more professional distance while you’re at work.”

Whether or not they’re having an affair is their business, but their behavior at work is yours and that’s the part you can speak to.

The post people are gossiping about how close 2 supervisors I manage are appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2026/03/people-are-gossiping-about-how-close-2-supervisors-i-manage-are.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=37022

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2026/03/my-employee-has-a-terrible-attitude-for-a-good-reason.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=36480

A reader writes:

I manage an employee who, to put it frankly, has a bad attitude. Negative about everything: our job, our clients, life in general. A constant rain cloud. He brings down morale quite a bit, and other employees have made comments to me about how hard it is to work with him.

Where I struggle is that I have a lot of sympathy for him and the many health problems he has been facing the last few years. He was in a car accident that he sustained pretty big injuries from, was diagnosed with a chronic disease which causes him constant pain, and also has had to deal with the sudden loss of a sibling. I feel like I would kind of hate the world, too. How do I address this without adding yet another blow to his mood?

I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

Other questions I’m answering there today include:

• Can I give one employee a gift but not the other?
• Dealing with infertility in a baby-talk-heavy office

The post my employee has a terrible attitude … for a good reason appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2026/03/my-employee-has-a-terrible-attitude-for-a-good-reason.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=36480