There's sex! Lots of sex!

Apparently, I went to bed too early last night.
I mean, there was the usual fun to be had in chat, and friendly support enabling a very mushy-brained Cali to get a challenge prompt up to highlander100, but today, when I woke up ... SQUEEEE!
If you haven't found it yet, go to highlander100 or to sparklebutch's journal (starting from here), and mainline the good stuff. I think I'll just go and move permanently into his D/K/M AU.
*goes back to reread* It's an addiction. What can i say.
P.S. Can one get a nightlamp that has the shape of Methos' glowing penis?

A Wise Man Never... (longer version)

The ever marvellous sparklebutch wrote wonderful yummy squeeworthy sex for highlander100 "Sex" Challenge. And high on that pretty D/M/K crack, I begged to borrow a slice of his Universe and wrote some more crack.
The 100-word drabble for highlander100 Challenge # 109 is here
This one's the slightly longer version. I mean, who can fail to be inspired by glowing Methosdicks?
Title: A wise man never...
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing. The glowing Methosdick (TM) belongs to sparklebutch, the rest belongs to TPTB.
Warnings: Pure, unashamed crack. Set in sparklebutch's D/M/K crack!AU
Credit: Thank you to sparklebutch for letting me play in your sandbox, and for cyberducks for the original inspiration of the glowing Methosdick!

NB! To get any of it, you really need to read this first!


Methos looked down at two dark heads bent together, engrossed in studying the strange new phenomenon.
"You know, " he remarked, "this reminds me of the time when an entire civilization used to worship my penis."
Both heads shot up, colliding with a rather satisfying crack! in the process.
Methos thought that the second simultaneous "Owwwwwww" was particularly harmonious.
"There were whole temples dedicated to my penis. With amazingly life-like frescoes, and mosaiques made of precious stones, and silk tapestries, and marble statues...And the fair boys and maidens, in the main temple in the capital, of course, to take good care of the original. It was quite exhausting, to be honest. Especially being forced to maintain the erection almost constantly."
Come to think of that, they must've been practicing the timing of the eyeroll, too, those sly bastards.
He glared at his lovers.
"You don't believe me?"
Silence.
He let a hint of Death creep into his voice.
" Maybe you think it is undeserving of such attention?"
"Oh, no," said Kronos hastily, "It is very pretty indeed."
"Especially with the special glow effects," added Duncan for good measure.
It seemed that Kronos and Duncan wholeheartedly agreed on several fundamental truths. For example, everything about Methos was pretty. Moreover, a wise man never disses his lovers' assets. Especially if he wants to keep on getting any.
That was perfectly fine with Methos. Two agreeable lovers beat two glowering enemies any day. Even if it meant he'd have to brush up his tall tales to a wholly next level. After all, for a truly appreciative audience it would be worth the effort.


ETA: Now, with a brand new, thematic icon from sparklebutch !