calime: Smaug; text: Lurking worm (deviousmethos)
[personal profile] calime
Or is that ficced up*g*?
Anyway, I was reading the fanfic cliche discussion in [livejournal.com profile] pat_t's journal and got ...well, you could say *inspired* by [livejournal.com profile] cyberducks hilarious comment about ...ermm...lice.
A Highlander:The Series fanfic
Disclaimer:Don’t own anything. Don’t know nothing. This is all [livejournal.com profile] cyberducks fault. Totally.
Warnings: little itchy vermin inside.



„Lice.Really fascinating little creatures,“ mused Methos. „Taste quite good , too, especially when you’re hungry enough. I could never fathom why some people considered them a delicacy, though…If you look at it this way, actually there is some nice symmetry visible here – they feed on you, you eat them- the eternal circle of life…oh, come on, Mac, don’t look like that. Surely you have had lice before!“
„Not for the last century at least I have not!“, growled Duncan. „Would you for god’s sake stop reminiscing about lice and come help me get that damn smelly goo worked in my hair? I want to get rid of them, not listen to the lecture on their culinary merits…and anyway, it is all your fault that I got the nasty things!“
„My fault? How was I supposed to know that you would manage to get lice???“
„For starters, getting ourselves arrested was your idea. And I recall that I did not get to vote on the matter before we were actually crammed into the cell with about ten of those punks…what were they protesting against, anyway?“
„Well, you have to admit that it got us away from the Hunters and contrary to your twisted preconception of me I do not have a hundred contingency plans up my sleeve at any given moment! I was just improvising! And how was I supposed to know that you’d get lice from our cell mates? Perhaps you should keep your hair shorter…it seems to attract unwelcome visitors.. „
„Yes, like you, for example.“Duncan sniffed the medicinal shampoo cautiously and made a face. „ And now you can improvise the little vermin off me! I hope this stuff works…it certainly smells horrible enough for every living thing to drop dead at the first whiff. „
Methos grinned evilly.“Well, I’m sure that you remember the most effective de-lousing method from the days of your youth…“
„Methos. If you so much as think of *cutting my hair* or *shaving*...or anything with the similar connotations, I’ll de-louse you! With a dull knife and lye soap!“
„Ok, ok…no need to get angry. Though…“ Methos snickered „I bet you’d look really intresting when bald!“

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